I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
