there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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