I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
As shirtless as possible
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
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