I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
