On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
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