Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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