What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
