You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
