Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
My dad is sitting where you rode me
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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