hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize