I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
