I just saw a hot homeless man
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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