when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
