If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
