what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
