somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
