Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
