i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
