google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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