I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
