My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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