i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
