I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
...so i touched it.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Randomize
