dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize