I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
