He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
