I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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