these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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