i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Randomize
