I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
