I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
