We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
