I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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