For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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