I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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