Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
