I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
whose ass print is on the piano?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
