is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
