I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize