google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
