also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
