Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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