She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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