They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
