You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
