Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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