well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Randomize
