That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
You should frame my arrest warrant.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Randomize
