mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
should my penis look like a turkey
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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