covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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