So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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