I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
