AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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