I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
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