pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
You can't just leave with hair like that
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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