there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Randomize
