I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
