kristin has been a bad kristin
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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