U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Randomize
