It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
