Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
