So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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