I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
