I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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